“The oxen are slow, but the Earth is patient”: High Road to China

This month marks the arrival of the 4 Indiana Jones movies to Netflix. With that in mind, I wanted to take a look at one of the many adventure films that attempted to take advantage of the popularity of 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark. Today’s subject is the 1983 film High Road to China, an adaptation of Jon Cleary’s 1977 adventure novel about an aerial journey from England to China. In the pre-production phase, many top directors and actors were bandied about, including John Huston (The Maltese Falcon), Jacqueline Bisset (The Deep), Sidney J. Furie (The Entity), Bo Derek and her husband, director John Derek, and the then-current 007 Roger Moore. In the end, Where Eagles Dare director Brian G. Hutton was chosen to helm High Road, which would star Bess Armstrong (Nothing in Common) and Thomas Magnum himself, Tom Selleck, who was originally intended to play Dr. Jones. Let’s find out how high this particular Indy knockoff soars.

What would Higgins think of this?

What sets High Road apart from Raiders is its focus. Most of the action is driven by Armstrong as heiress and pilot Eve Tozer, who searches for her long-lost father, played by an unusually energetic Wilford Brimley. The result is akin to a re-imagining of Raiders from the perspective of its feisty heroine Marion Ravenwood. However, the events of High Road proceed at a more leisurely pace compared to the breakneck speed of Raiders, which can cause the movie to drag in some spots. As far as the performances go, it’s a mixed bag. Armstrong does pretty well as Eve but there are some scenes where she feels less like Marion and more like the infamously annoying Willie Scott from Temple of Doom. Selleck gives an admirable portrayal of a world-weary tough guy as the jaded ace pilot O’Malley while venerated character actors Robert Morley and Brian Blessed ham it up as two of the villains of the piece. Perhaps the most thrilling scenes in High Road are the tense aerial combat sequences, which were skillfully edited by John Jympson (A Hard Day’s Night) and utilized replicas of actual World War I-era biplanes, giving the battles a highly tactile quality.

Although it was released to cash in on the fame of Raiders, there are enough unique elements in High Road to China that make it a fairly engaging story on its own merits. For the most part, I’d say this bit of high adventure sticks the landing (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Credit: Trailer Chan

“The naughtiest one has come!”

This Christmas season seems to be a pretty good time to see an adaptation of a superhero comic. With Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and Aquaman garnering a great deal of positive buzz and this year’s Deadpool 2 being re-released for the holidays, I’ve decided to take a look at the 2002 short film The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special. Based on the eponymous 1991 one shot comic by Keith Giffen, Alan Grant and Simon Bisley and directed by Scott Leberecht, the short features DC Comics’s hypermasculine, pseudo-parodic alien bounty hunter Lobo (Andrew Bryniarski of Batman Returns and Street Fighter fame) on a mission to assassinate Santa Claus at the behest of a desperate Easter Bunny.

Credit: FanboyTheatre

“Blanked as ordered”: Saturn 3

It’s only a day away until Goth Christmas (otherwise known as Halloween) and I’ve decided to take a look at a strange example of a film in the subgenre of science fiction horror. 1980’s Saturn 3, released with an eye toward the audience that lauded Ridley Scott’s 1979 breakthrough hit Alien, is the subject of a great deal of controversy in regard to its behind-the-scenes woes. Martin Amis, the British novelist who wrote the screenplay for Saturn 3, was able to cash in on the contention with his 1984 novel Money, which is based on his own experience during the calamitous production of the movie. Are the various production problems visible in the final film? Let’s find out as we take a look at this Razzie Award-nominated sci-fi thriller.

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Skynet’s development of the T-800 went through some growing pains.

If Saturn 3 has any strengths, the performances certainly wouldn’t be counted among them. Watching Kirk Douglas’s hammy, almost parodic turn as the scientist Adam could make one long to see a Douglas-impersonating Frank Gorshin take up the role. It doesn’t help that he has very little chemistry with Harvey Keitel, who portrays the villainous cargo pilot Benson, and Farrah Fawcett, who comes across as monotonous in her performance of Adam’s assistant Alex. It’s pretty unfortunate when the best actor in your movie is your key practical effect. The prop in question is Hector, an advanced robot built by Benson who, in true HAL 9000 fashion, rebels against Adam’s crew. As a space-based thriller with a small cast, it takes a lot of its cues from Alien, right down to a scene that echoes Jonesy the cat’s encounter with the Xenomorph. Veteran director Stanley Donen (Singin’ in the Rain) does the best he can with the story, which was conceived by Star Wars production designer John Barry, but most of the scenes lack energy or imagination. Saturn 3’s saving grace is Elmer Bernstein’s vibrant score, which conveys menace and mystery when the visuals and acting aren’t up to the task.

Overall, I can’t really say you should skip Saturn 3 entirely. The effects and imagery are believably frightening and some of the design work is intriguing, especially the weirdly unique and appropriately unsettling Hector. If you’re in the mood for a bit of early 80s sci-fi cheese, Saturn 3 might satisfy that craving.

Credit: deadenddriveinSomething Is Wrong On Saturn 3

“Counting electric sheep”: Slipstream

Gary Kurtz, the legendary producer of many classic films including American Graffiti, The Dark Crystal and the first two Star Wars films, recently passed away at the age of 78. For a filmmaker with a handful of projects under his belt, Kurtz certainly left a positive impact in cinematic history through his collaborations with some of the most influential creators in entertainment, such as Walter Murch, Jim Henson, Francis Ford Coppola and George Lucas. In 1989Kurtz attempted to regain the success he earned in the sci-fi genre with the subject of this review but the film in question flopped at the box office and languished in B-movie limbo ever since. We’ll find out if it deserves that fate as we take a look at the post-apocalyptic adventure Slipstream.

Slipstream (1989)

Luke Skywalker takes his womp rat hunting very seriously.

Set after a man-made Armageddon known as the Convergence, the story of Slipstream feels like an amalgam of Blade Runner’s philosophical gravity, as demonstrated by its Scripture-quoting android hero Byron (Bob Peck), and Mad Max’s focus on the lives of the many denizens of its apocalyptic setting and the consequences of the actions of a prior generation, which is best illustrated by a Ben Kingsley-led cult that worships a powerful windstorm that appeared after the Convergence. At times, this combination gives the film a disjointed flow that doesn’t fully solidify its themes, which isn’t helped by the low-key direction of Tron producer Steven Lisberger. The film is largely carried by a few enjoyable performances, most notably the somewhat fascinating chemistry between Peck and Bill Paxton’s bounty hunter character Matt and an intriguing appearance by the ever-underrated Mark Hamill as the dangerous cop Will Tasker.

Does Slipstream deserve its reputation as an inert box office bust? I don’t think so. The film has a unique visual appeal, a wonderful score by Elmer Bernstein and it presents some genuinely compelling ideas about where humanity is headed. If you’re looking to get into post-apocalyptic sci-fi, Slipstream is a pretty decent introduction to the genre.

Credit: TheSciFiSpot

“Out of Love of Characters”

This weekend, I’ll be attending the Flashback Weekend Horror Convention in Rosemont, Illinois. There’s a lot to look forward to, including screenings of the 1988 slasher classic Child’s Play and the 1985 vampire mystery Fright Night and appearances from horror luminaries such as Child’s Play star Brad Dourif, director Tom Holland and Chicago’s own Svengoolie, but the event that I’m anticipating the most is the 13th Annual Sinister Visions Costume Contest. Hosted by Svengoolie, this contest is a great showcase of the creativity and the passion that defines the hobby of cosplaying. In all my years as a con-goer, I’ve dabbled in costuming myself from time to time and experienced how inclusive and encouraging the cosplaying community can be. If you want to learn more about what inspires cosplayers or if you want to pursue the hobby yourself, consider this 2014 documentary, directed by Shelley Yu, a informative primer on the diverse costuming community.

Credit: Infinity Sky Productions